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  • Writer's pictureSelena Frongillo

Quarter Life Crisis: Commence

finding yourself

For us early Gen Z'ers / late millennials, we're creeping up on our mid 20's which means - you guessed it - quarter life crisis: commence. Does anyone really have it figured out at this age? (asking for a friend). I don't know about you, but lately, I've been wondering, what the heck am I doing with my life?

Do we all feel like this to some degree? Even if you just got engaged, and are buying a house, and just got promoted, do we all sometimes question "is this right for me?"

I, for one, am extremely jealous of those who have always had a clear direction, at least professionally: go to nursing school, become a nurse. Go to college, become a teacher. Whatever your career path, those who know early on are rare and quite lucky in my eyes.

But, there is no right or wrong, good or bad way to live our lives - there is just learning, adapting, and growing into who we are and who we want to be one day at a time. Which means, most of us aren't necessarily going to want the job that our 8-year-old selves dreamt up for us.

We may want absolutely nothing to do with the field we received our degree in at 21, and may jump around from job to job, field to field for a bit until we figure out what the heck gets us excited to wake up in the morning.

The older generations are going into cardiac arrest right now, thinking about job hopping (not a great look to companies), BUT our generation is taking the phrase work-life balance to heart and actually seeking to embody this. We want a career in which we feel valued, fulfilled, and fairly compensated, and we don't want to have to dread going to it every day. In fact, we want to love going to it - and we aren't going to stay at a job if we don't!

We spend more time at our jobs than anywhere else. We see our coworkers and boss more than we see our families. So, don't we want it to be something we're passionate about?

Okay, sure, we've decided we want an exciting, fulfilling career, but how the heck do we get that, Selena? Great question - something I'm still trying to figure out myself, to be honest. But, what I do know, and have learned from my life coach (shoutout, Hilay), is that we must listen to what feels good.

I know, sounds easier said than done, right? We're trained to think practically - get the degree, get the practical job, work the 9-5 for 40+ years so you can provide for yourself. But, what if we tapped into what feels right to us? Maybe we don't know what that is yet, and that's okay. But our bodies have a way of communicating with us. Sometimes our body knows before we do! Pay attention to what you get excited about, what you're drawn to, what people, things, or opportunities seem to keep popping up around you - these are not coincidences.

If I've learned anything, it's that the more we feed into these good feelings, the higher our vibration will become, opening ourselves up to receive from the universe. We may not realize what our purpose is or what we are meant to do for our career yet, but we do innately know what feels right. The more we can tap into that, and do the things that feel good, the more likely we are to veer towards the path we're meant to be on.

So, wherever you are right now, take a breath, and realize the only thing you have to do is what feels good and right - the rest will fall into place. Thanks for reading, and I hope this eases your quarter life crisis even just a bit!

If you're struggling in your career (or any area of life), I am starting to open free trial sessions to anyone interested in working with me! As I've said, I am dedicated to being your virtual best friend, uncertified therapist, and loyal confidant all in one. Email me at if you're interested and I'd love to chat!

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