• Selena Frongillo

Life as a Twenty-Something in 2020

Updated: Jan 21


group of friends on a boat

Welcome back to The Shower Thoughts Series! If you're an avid reader, nice of you to drop by again, and if you're new here, hey and thanks for joining! So today, I wanted to get a little candid with you guys and tell you that, although I'm in marketing, and it is ingrained in me to set up a social content calendar and plan out every post and every topic months in advance (if you're not in marketing, this is what we do), this is not the process that I take with this blog. Every post that I write comes from some sort of inspiration - a conversation with a friend, a shower thought, something I've read, etc. (hence the title). It sparks something in me immediately and I'm like, that's it - that's the next post. So, today, I'm discussing life as a twenty-something, and what these years are really for. We are all in the same boat, and many of us, struggling to find our purpose. I read a passage a couple of days ago that struck me, and I want to share the main message it was trying to get across, which is something I truly believe in and want to put into practice myself.


First of all, I'm almost 23, so definitely on the younger side of the 20's. But even at 23, there's this misconception that we have to have every single thing in our life planned out and have it all "together". Okay, what does "together" even mean? What does that even look like? It seems like, after college (if you attended college), there is this expectation to get a job immediately (most likely in your field of study), move out at least within a year from your parents' house, have a relationship (some are even probably thinking of engagement in the near future), and soon enough, have kids. Okay, so that is one specific example - but, it is not so uncommon that we are all feeling these societal pressures.


So, did we like, forget that not everyone's life looks the same, never mind their journey? Why do we, at 23, need to have every second of our future planned out? At 23, do we even know what we really want? Uhm, HI, I don't!! Why are we expected to have everything figured out at such a young age? At 23, this is, for a lot of us, our first time out of school, and actually working a full-time job. That in itself, is a lot and a huge change from rolling out of bed for our 8am's and then spending the other half of the day goofing off with our friends. We're real people now with real responsibilities.


We know what is expected of us, as society has shoved it down our throats our whole lives. Is there any wonder we don't know what we want? Did we ever really have a choice? All we've known up until now is go to school, do well, make friends, make some money where you can. But, now we have a decision: do we follow society's outline of what our life should look like or do we create our own path? Do we explore to figure out what that is? And how?


One of my favorite quotes from this passage said, "Your 20s are about unlearning. Stripping away lukewarm loves and work you don't thrive doing and friends you've outgrown and limiting ideas you've been leaning on to guide you. You're making room for your actual life to begin" (Brianna Wiest).


The concept of "unlearning" is so powerful. To grow, sometimes we have to "unlearn" ideals, things that have always held us back to make room for the new person we are trying to become. We are meant to explore within ourselves, and within the world, for what makes us tick, what makes us thank God that we're alive and free to experience what we choose to.


We're twenty-something. We're practically babies finally thrown into the real world. We're learning to walk, and one day we'll run. And guess what? We're going to make a million mistakes along the way. And guess what else? Those mistakes are what will bring us to the most amazing version of our lives that we can't even imagine yet. So, what's the point of trying to plan it all out? Wouldn't you rather see where life takes you?


We've all waited for our twenties - this is where the fun starts right? Our golden years? We can't waste a second! And while this is true, we don't have to have it all yet either. We don't need to be making 6 figures yet, we don't need to have the most solid savings yet, we don't even have to know what we want as a career. This is when we figure it out.


This passage also says, "Most people stumble in their 20's because they've spent their lives anticipating them. They've lived for this point - when happiness can ensue. But the most unhappy people are often the ones with the pretty nice apartments and the decent amount of friends and the good-enough job in fields they're at least somewhat interested in, because they've spent their lives building ideas rather than learning how to feel" (Brianna Wiest).


Powerful, right? Let me write it out again: building ideas rather than learning how to feel. Instead of building this entire future in our heads, why don’t we learn how to feel our true emotions? Why don't we learn how to attract our true desires and throw the whole written-out plan out the window? Why don't we try something new, fail at it, then try something else? Why don't we love whole-heartedly, and make new, genuine connections? By doing this, by feeling deeply, I feel as though this will lead us to the right path - whatever that may be.


So, listen. You're a twenty-something. But don't forget that these aren't our only years. You don't have to figure out your life within a certain time-span. Hell, let's embrace not having a script to follow. Be open to learning, growing, failing, loving too hard, feeling too much - because our story will be so much richer for it.


Thanks again for reading, please subscribe and share with your friends, and I'll see you in my next post!

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