• Selena Frongillo

10 Signs He's Just Not That into You


he's just not that into you

We've all been there (some of us, too many times than we care to count) - we start talking to a guy, and while it's all fun and games for a week or two, it quickly turns into the biggest headache, stress-inducing guessing game you never agreed to play.


He starts texting less and less, you're the one initiating most of your conversations and plans, and it gets to feel, well...completely one-sided!


But we just can't get enough of red flags can we? (head on over to why we crave toxic relationships here). We try to rationalize every time he takes four hours to respond to us, why he's canceled on us three times already, and why he just Venmo'd some girl with a pizza emoji (we're not stalkers, we swear...).


And, although they make us crazy (like, literally certifiably insane), we are still so blind to these red flags when we're interested in someone - we'll look past a lot, just for it to bite us in the butt later.


So, I'm here to dive into some signs that scream, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!! (people in the back, did you catch that?) Let's get into it.


1. Your only form of communication is via Snapchat

LOL - we love this one! There's nothing that says "I'm not looking for anything" like a mass snap of your work-from-home setup. And, even if you do have actual conversations, even every day, if he's not texting you, you're just another girl on his snap list. Next!


2. He doesn't have you over

While you may think it's a nice gesture at first that he's willing to always drive to you, or go somewhere in public, refusing to ever have you over is a major red flag. Whether it's hiding you from his family, his roommates, or his secret girlfriend, he's keeping you very separate from his personal life.


3. You're always the one initiating

Whether it's plans, texting, or FaceTiming, if you're the one always reaching out first, you better run. Effort is everything, and the earlier on we recognize this, the better. We all know how people act when they're interested! Always eager to talk, to get your attention, to see you, etc. If he's not doing any of these things, there's a great chance he's just not into you.


4. He won't make plans with you on the weekend

If 100% of his Saturdays are for the boys - get. outta. there. You will NOT be someone's weekday girl. Run while you can.


5. He only sees/calls/texts you when it's convenient for him

If you're being treated like an option, believe that he's making you one. Don't wait around for him to make plans with you, or text you. You want someone excited and eager to spend time with you, not someone you have to beg.


6. He doesn't have you around his friends

Like I said before, if he's keeping you separate from the people in his life, he doesn't see things going anywhere with you long-term. While it's normal to not meet the friends right off the bat, if you're talking for an extended period of time and there is still no sign of him letting you into his little bubble, take the hint.

7. You hear from him one day and not the next

It's all about consistency, people!! We know this, but still cling on for dear life to the people who keep us guessing. There is nothing worse than waiting around and questioning every single thing you did or said wondering if he's going to reach out to you again. No, thank you! If he's all over the place, there's a good chance that won't be changing.


8. He doesn't take you on actual dates

If all you're getting is "you up?" texts at midnight, or you occasionally hang out at one of your places, but never go out on actual dates, he's just not that into you. He's not trying to impress you, you're just convenient for that night - sorry, but the truth hurts!


9. He's "always busy"

Let's be honest, if you really like someone, you're making time to see or talk to that person even if you're the busiest person on the planet. Busy doesn't cut it. Next!


10. He doesn't ask you questions about yourself or your life

If all he does is talk about himself, his job, his hobbies, and doesn't ask anything about you, he really doesn't care! The conversation should be evenly split, and if it's not, it's a sign that he's really not into getting to know you.


I hope these tips are helpful in helping you detect the red flags in the current or future men you're seeing - happy dating!


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