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  • Writer's pictureSelena Frongillo

Finding Your One True Love (Language)

Updated: Jan 15, 2021

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Love - what a concept. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, living up the single life, or going through a breakup, at the end of the day, we all want to love and be loved. It’s simply human nature - we can fight it all we want, but fostering meaningful relationships are what matter to us at our core. So, no matter what stage of life you’re in at the moment, figuring out your love language is essential to maintaining successful relationships (whenever that may be).

So, maybe some of you are like, what the heck is a love language? I’m glad you asked. There are five, to be specific:

  1. Acts of service

  2. Words of affirmation

  3. Receiving gifts

  4. Quality time

  5. Physical touch

Your love language is, essentially, how you receive love. What can your significant other do for you that makes you feel the most loved? Knowing your love language, and theirs, is imperative, as everyone receives love differently. While you don’t have to have the same love language to maintain a successful relationship, knowing what is important to the other person will help the longevity and intimacy of the relationship. So, what do these look like?

Acts of Service

You know when your significant other cleans the house and makes you dinner after a long day at work? Or taking your kids to the park so that you can have a couple of relaxation hours to yourself? How about the simple act of taking out the trash without you pestering them for the 14th time? These are all acts of service, and for some people, these mean everything. No, they don’t need to hear that you’re proud of them, or for you to send flowers to their work - simple trash duty will suffice.

Words of Affirmation

Hello, tell me I’m pretty! Tell me you’re lucky to have me, and that I’m the best thing to ever happen to you. (Okay, maybe too much...but is it?) Some people need to be affirmed on the reg. Even if you’ve been dating for seven years, they still want to hear how beautiful you think they are, that the meal they made last night was absolutely to die for, and basically, just how much you appreciate them. What’s better than getting showered with compliments, right?

Receiving Gifts

Some people think this one is a bit stuck up. But, the fact is, some people feel the most loved when they receive things - whether that is flowers for no reason, a diamond necklace on your birthday, or new mixing bowls for your baking, gifts big or small make these people feel seen, appreciated, and validated. And it reminds them, hey, I was thinking of you!

Quality Time

Okay, really, who doesn’t love quality time with their partner? But for some, this takes precedence over everything else. You could mow the lawn, book her a getaway with her girlfriends, and drop a Louis Vuitton bag in her lap, but nothing compares to spending time with you. Whether it’s a five course meal at the most expensive restaurant in town, a picnic on the beach, or binge-watching Netflix in bed together, all she wants is valuable time together. And, if you choose hanging with her instead of the boys? Extra points.

Physical Touch

This may be an obvious one, but the simple act of a hug, kiss, or holding of the hand can mean the world. Some people feel close to their significant other by, well, literally being close. They feel the most loved with a kiss on the cheek, a massage of the shoulders, or a simple rub of the back. This type of person needs cuddling, and lots of it.

So, there you have it! Think you know which one you are? Spoiler alert: you don’t have to fall into only one category. Many people have multiple love languages, but tend to lean one way or the other. You can take the quiz to find out which you really are here and let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you in my next post!

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