• Selena Frongillo

More Than Enough - and Believing it

Updated: Jan 21



girl hiking a mountain

Welcome back, my Shower Thoughts readers! Today I'm diving a little deeper than usual, into a topic I know many of us can relate to in some capacity - not feeling like we're enough. Enough. A word that is synonymous to sufficient, adequate, what is necessary. Enough? We're worried that we don't even meet the minimum requirements? That we barely reach up to par? We've all had these thoughts race through our heads whether we feel as though we're not smart enough, not attractive enough, not confident enough. The list goes on and on and we are really good at doubting ourselves - some of us, true experts.

But, why? How do we get to thinking that we are so behind our peers in one thing or another? Do we all feel like this? And, if so, wouldn't that put us all back on the same playing field? There are so many factors into us questioning ourselves. Maybe we had a harsh parent whose expectations we couldn't live up to, or a boyfriend or girlfriend who broke up with us for someone else, or we've been single forever and have yet to find someone who truly values us romantically (this, I could, and will do a whole different blog post on). But, there are people in all of our lives that have made us question things about ourselves to the point where we may even second-guess our own worth.

These people tell us "no", "you can't", "do better". This many times is a projection of themselves onto you. For example, the parent that you can never seem to please - your mom always wanted you to be a doctor, but you’re going to school to be a fashion designer. You see the constant disappointment when you pave your own path instead of following on the one she’s attempted to pave for you. Again, this is many times a projection - she may wish she went to school to be a doctor, so she wants it for you. We take this as - ouch - I’m not worthy in her eyes. I’ve let her down. What I want isn’t good enough for her. While your mom may not even realize what she’s doing, this can really do some damage. When we are brought up in an environment that makes us question who we are and what we want at our core, our life can be thrown off balance and steer off the course we’re meant to be on.

When we don’t feel secure in who we are, and that every fiber of our being is not only enough, but plenty, everything around us takes a hit. Low confidence means, many times, not taking risks. Not raising your hand in class, not applying for the job you think you’re just a tad unqualified for, not asking for the cute barista’s number at the coffee shop. We limit ourselves and our opportunities and experiences to what we feel is safe and comfortable in our own little bubble of what we think we are good enough for.

When you think about it...how crazy is that? Why would we limit ourselves over this construct of being “good enough” when every person on this earth has faults? Why not take a chance? The worst that can happen is you get a little knocked down, but the best that could happen is that one risk changes your life - in the best way. Kick the negative thoughts buzzing in your ear to the curb, and tell yourself that you are amazing just the way you are (thank you, Bruno Mars).

When we tell ourselves “we are enough” and we believe it, we truly are set free. So what if you fail the test, if you get turned down, if you’re choosing a different path? These things don’t define us as who we are, but shows proof that we have lived. That we had the strength to take risks, to say eff it, I deserve to try whatever it may be because I’m worth it. Did you read that? You’re worth it. You’re more than enough. You’re everything you’re meant to be and this world wouldn’t be the same without you in it. I hope this post resonated with some of you, and I hope, before you go to bed tonight, you look in the mirror and say, “I am enough.” See you in my next post!

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